


Brothers Fears

by soulmetalfairy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean is Not Oblivious, F/M, Sam Has Panic Attacks, Sam Has a Fear of Clowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 10:36:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8098900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulmetalfairy/pseuds/soulmetalfairy
Summary: When Dean first learned of his brothers fear of clowns he was fifteen. He never learned the true extent of it until four years later, when he finds his brother in a rather precarious situation.





	

**Author's Note:**

> all characters belong to their respectful owners. I hope you enjoy this.

When Dean first learned of his brothers fear of clowns he was fifteen.

He'd returned from a night out on the hunt for a new girl, a smile plastered on his face as he walked through the front door of the rented house. Their dad's car hadn't been in the driveway, so he wasn't back from his recent hunt yet. Which also meant he was still on big brother duty, and had to take care of Sammy. His brother should've been home by now, because if he wasn't he was going to have some explaining to do later.

Dean walked right in the front door, and immediately stops as a flash of shadow rushed at him. He doesn't even get the door shut behind himself before there are young arms holding him tightly around the waist. The bone crushing hug is enough to cause him to worry. Had something happened to Sam while he'd been gone? He hadn't been gone that long.... had he?

'' Sam?'' Dean questioned, stepping forward enough to kick the door shut. Sam shook against him, his grip never faltering as he moved with Dean's every movement. '' Sammy, what the hell's gotten into you?'' Dean questioned, placing a hand on his shoulder to push him back. Sam never moved, but he did look straight up at him.

He looked right at him with those big doe eyes that were overflowing with shedding tears.

'' Sammy?''

'' I was so scared Dean. They wouldn't leave me alone.'' Sam said, a loud sniff escaping his core as more tears ran from his eyes. Dean wrapped a hand around Sam's shoulders as he moved to walk further into the house. Sam moved with him, his footsteps quicker than Deans own, more like shuffling. Sam was whimpering the entire time, from the door all the way to the living room where Dean sat him down on the edge of their couch.

'' Sam. What happened to you?'' Dean asked, kneeling in front of him. Sam sniffed again, another round of tears replacing the ones that had just fallen. Dean reached up, and gently whipped them away with his thumb as Sam took a shuddering breath.

'' The clowns wouldn't leave me alone.'' Sam said.

And there was his answer.

Dean knew Sam had a problem with clowns. Hell, he knew it was his fault that he had a problem with them in the first place. He'd left Sam at one of those stupid kid places about two years back while he was out and about doing his own thing. Next thing he knows anytime Sam is within sight of a clown there's a look that passes over his face, and he starts to shake. Any longer, and you don't want to see the outcome.

'' What clowns Sammy?'' Dean asked, wondering why he was even near one at all.

'' They were at school. They wouldn't stop calling me out for demonstrations of their tricks.'' Sam said, running his sleeve over his eyes to wipe away his tears. '' The teachers wouldn't let me leave. Even when they saw me flipping out.'' Sam said, voice trembling over the last of it. Dean set a hand on Sam's shoulder, hoping the reassurance would help to calm him some. He hated that his brother was afraid of something because of him. He's supposed to protect him from danger, not cause him to be afraid of it to this point. Dean was ready to slam his head in a door, and call it suitable punishment, because right now Sam didn't deserve to be suffering.

'' Sam.'' Dean squeezed Sam's shoulder tightly. '' They're nothing to be scared about. The clowns aren't going to hurt you.'' Dean said.

'' But what if they're like the one in that movie you watched?'' Sam asked. '' That one murdered, and who he murdered was children.''

Dean deadpanned at that. True, he had watched a movie that had a killer clown in it, but he'd been sure that Sam was asleep when he'd watched it. Look how much good that did. So now he had to reasons to hate himself for making Sam hate clowns.

'' Sam. That clown was a fake.'' Dean said. '' A fake, you hear me. It was an actor. He's not real, so there's nothing to fear. The clowns aren't going to kill you.''

'' Promise?'' Sam asked, whipping his eyes again.

'' I promise.'' Dean said, squeezing his shoulder again. There was a flicker of hope behind Sam's eyes, and no warning before the youngest Winchester was shooting forward on the couch. His arms wrapped tightly around Dean's chest as he pulled himself into a bear hug. Dean didn't push him away, or try to tell him otherwise. He just let Sam have his way. He let him vent the same way that he would need to one of these days. This was what Dean lived for. Being the older brother, he lived for those days that Sam had to rely on him to get back up. All of them had to rely on each other to get back up after a rough run like that. Now it may not have been a hunt, but it was still something that he couldn't handle on his own. So when ever his brother would be in trouble, or needed a crutch to lean on, he'd be there.

After all, what are brothers for?

 

\---

 

When Dean was nineteen he learned the hard way that fears don't die with time. No amount of convincing would help deny the truth that stood before them.

The scream that had reached both himself, and their father John was enough to send them running.

'' Sam!'' Dean yelled, desperate for a response from his now fifteen year old brother. There was only silence that hung over their heads. The silence stretched on, causing Dean to panic. Sam was in real trouble if he couldn't respond to them. '' Sammy!''

'' DEAN!'' Came the frantic scream. '' DEAN, HELP!''

'' SAMMY!'' Dean ran ahead of his father, ignoring his frantic calls to hold up. Dean didn't care what his old man had to say about this. His brother was in trouble, and he was going to find him. Turning the corner, he almost ran into the door as it was thrown shut against him. However, it wasn't shut fast enough before he could see that Sam was inside. From the small glimpse he got Sam was pressed up to the wall, hands held to the side by chains as something loomed over him. Something tall, red haired, and possesses panic inducing properties for a certain fifteen year old.

'' DEAN!'' Sam's screams had grown more frantic when the door shut. Dean's heart raced as another cry rang out through the thick metal, and this one was laced with pain. That thing was hurting his brother. What had it done to him already? Had it given a wound that he could kill him?

'' Sammy!'' Dean yelled, gripping the handle tightly in his hands. '' I'm going to get you out of there Sammy, just hold on!'' Dean yelled.

'' PLEASE HURRY!'' Sam shouted.

'' I'm trying!'' Dean yelled, giving up on opening the door through the handle. His father had finally caught up by then, and looked just as worried as he must've. '' Sam's trapped inside.'' Dean told him.

'' Step back son.'' John told him. Dean stood back, gun still raised as John reeved back, and ran forward. His shoulder slammed into the metal, simply bouncing him off. There wasn't even a dent in it, or any sign of it moving. Dean decided to take action, and ran into the door the way his father had. Again, there was no movement. Dean cursed under his breath, but the curse became louder when another scream rang out from inside the room. Dean's heart was beating out of his chest as he threw himself against the door again, along with his father. The door shook slightly from the added weight, budging slightly in the frame.

'' Hold on Sam!'' Dean shouted, hitting the door again. '' We're coming.''

'' Dean! Please!'' Sam's shouts had grown dimmer. They were still frantic, but it was like Sam couldn't yell anymore.

'' HOLD ON SAMMY!'' Dean threw himself against the door again, and at the same time his father did. The combined force and weight was enough to throw the door off its hinges. The metal flew inward, hitting the wall with a loud resounding thud as the duo held up their guns.

'' Hey!'' John shouted, his gun trained on the thing now looming over his youngest.

'' Get away from him!'' Dean shouted, watching as the thing stood at attention before him. The ghostly creature turned, an the tulpa was enough to scare even him. Then again, who would expect to have to face a creature of fiction from a stupid movie.

The clown stood at about his fathers height, maybe a bit taller. There were distinct fangs in his mouth where his teeth should've been, and there was blood dripping down his chin from them. The clown smiled when a look of anger ran over Dean's face. He began to step forward, which was when he got a good look at his brother.Sam was hurt. there was a bite mark that was pretty deep in his shoulder, and was still dripping with blood. The same arm was torn up, long claw marks running up and down. They weren't too deep, but they had to be painful. Then he saw his brothers leg, which was, without a doubt, broken. Because no matter what you can say about it, a leg isn't supposed to bend at that angle. Dean's rage boiled over, and he emptied his clip into the tulpa clowns chest. The clown laughed as the bullets pierced it, never flinching as every bullet his its mark. Dean's eyes were wide with horror as the clown stepped forward when his gun gave off an empty click. The tulpa laughed again, and in the blink of an eye was on top of Sam once more.

'' NO!'' Dean watched as the clown gripped his brothers shoulders, and held him up high in the air. It was a split second later that the clown had Sam's same shoulder in a bite that sent a scream tearing free of Sam's throat. Dean ran forward now, gun held more like a club as he brought it across the tulpas head. John came up beside him, grabbing the tulpas strangely colorful outfit, and throwing him off his son. 

'' Dean! Get Sam out of here now!'' John yelled.

'' Dad.''

'' GO NOW!'' John yelled. Dean knew his dad needed help on this hunt, but he wasn't going to go against his fathers orders. So even with the struggle, he hoisted Sam onto his back, and ran for the exit. He didn't realize it at first, but Sam was panting against his back. He could feel every hot breath against the skin of his neck, quick, and laced with pain. Then there was the shaking. The hands locked around his neck were shaking like leaves, and tense as they tried to hold his own weight.

'' Sammy?'' Dean had to know if he was alright. True, he was injured, but Sam never acted like that after getting attacked. The worst tat had happened was when he was younger, after his first hunt. He hadn't slept for days after that one because of the nightmares the scene gave him. '' Sammy, you alright?''

'' Dean.'' Sam mumbled, voice weak and trembling. Sam moved his head against Dean's back, and he could feel him press his forehead into the back of his jacket.

'' Sam. Keep talking to me. What's the matter?'' Dean asked, catching the door in his line of sight. '' We're almost out Sammy, just keep talking to me.'' Dean told him, giving his brothers leg a quick squeeze.

'' Can't..... Can't.'' Dean stopped in the doorway, unable to make out what Sam was saying. His chest was heaving against his back, taking short breaths that sounded more like gasps. It only took Dean a second to realize what was happening, and that had him scrambling to get Sam outside.

Dean had fought with anxiety when he'd first started hunting with his old man. Still fought with it from time to time in fact. He knew the signs of an anxiety attack when he saw them, and right now Sam was in the throws of a major one. He had to keep Sam talking.

'' Sammy, come on now. Use your words.'' Dean encouraged, hoping to get to the impala so Sam could lay down.

'' Can't..... Breath.... Can't Breath..... D-Dean.'' Sam sounded desperate as another wave of shudders wracked his body. Dean knew Sam wasn't making it to the car now. So when he was out the door he went to the side, a safe enough distance from the building, and carefully set Sam down on the grass. There was a cry of pain as the movement jostled his broken leg, but it was the only thing he saw that broke the sheer panic that was spread across his face.

'' Sammy.... Hey, Sammy, look at me.'' Dean said, hand gripping his good shoulder tightly. Sam's shoulder shuddered under his grip, shaking like mad as he took gasping breaths. His eyes weren't focused on anything. They were stuck staring into space, like there was something there that only he could see. '' Sam. Look at me.'' Dean reached out with his other hand, and cupped Sam's tear streaked cheek. He pulled his face towards him, locking eyes with his little brother who was watching back with wide eyes.

'' Dean.'' Sam mumbled between gasps for air.

'' It's OK Sammy. I'm right here.'' Dean said, hand moving down to grip his brothers arm. '' Just focus on me Sammy, keep your eyes on me, and focus on your breathing.'' Dean told him.

'' Can't.'' Sam said, curling in on himself. His body was so tense. Dean had to get him to calm down before he ended up hurting himself. '' I can't.... Dean, I can't.'' Sam sobbed, his breath coming even faster.

'' Sammy.'' Dean maneuvered around Sam, plopping down at his side. Sam watched him the whole time, finding that he was getting very light headed now. It was like he was floating on cloud nine, and he wasn't coming down. '' Sammy. You need to calm down now. That thing isn't going to get you.''

'' Dean.... I.'' Sam never knew what was coming until he was locked in an embrace by his brother. Dean held his brother close, feeling the way that he shook against him with every breath. He felt the way his muscles would tense with every shudder, and the way that they flexed to wrap his own arms around him. '' Dean.'' It was like a life line for him now. It was his life line to stay grounded. To stay here where he belonged by his brothers side. Dean held tightly as Sam's hands gripped with the material of his jacket.

'' Just take it easy Sammy.'' Dean mumbled into his ear, reaching a hand up to tangle in the mop of brown hair he refused to cut. '' I've got you Sammy. It's not going to get you, you're safe.'' Dean soothed.

'' Dean.'' The sob was heart wrenching. Dean felt Sam bury his face in his chest, and felt the way his body heaved as he cried into the material of his shirt. Dean tucked Sam's head under his chin, quietly soothing him as the hair entangled hand ran through the messy brown strands. '' I was so scared. I couldn't.... I just couldn't.'' Sam sobbed.

'' I know Sam.'' Dean said, holding his brother tighter. '' I know you couldn't. None of that matters now.'' Dean soothed. Neither one of them was sure how long they were there for. All That Dean knew was that Sam was starting to calm for now. He was slowly starting to relax into the hold, letting all the tension in his body go. He wasn't gasping for air anymore, but Dean could feel the way he moved when he took a quick gasp. An after effect of being that upset for that long. Dean looked down at his brother, looking right at his eyes. They were locked on something Dean couldn't see, but they were relaxed. He was calm now, and was probably feeling ready to drop after that.

'' Dean?'' Sam mumbled.

'' Yeah, Sammy?''

'' My leg's still broken.'' Sam mumbled, head leaning further into his brothers chest. The last part was muffled, but what Dean could make out had something to do about their dad being pissed that he got hurt.

'' Dad's not going to be pissed Sammy.'' Dean mumbled.

'' It's Sam.'' He mumbled, leaning closer to the warmth around him. Dean knew Sam would be so embarrassed that he was like this later, but right now he was going to savor this moment. He was going to remember the days like this when Sam still needed him to stand tall. Because as they aged, those days came in short supply, and Dean knew the wouldn't last forever. One way or another Sam was going to get away from this life, and there was nothing Dean could do to stop him.

There were footsteps from his right, and when the brothers looked up they found their father stumbling towards them.

'' You two alright?'' John asked, whipping at a line of blood flowing from a cut above his left eye.

'' Sam's legs still broken.'' Dean said, looking down to the broken appendage. '' And his arm may need some stitches.''

'' ER.'' John said.

'' Dean?'' The grip on his clothing was back, and when Dean looked down he found the uncertainty in Sam's eyes.

'' What is it Sammy?'' Dean asked, watching as his dad went over to start the car. Sam was going stiff again, and his body was on edge.

'' I can't walk.'' Sam said. '' It hurts.'' The last piece clicked into place. Sam's body had run out of endorphin's to block the pain, so now he was feeling everything that that clown had done to him.

'' That's OK Sammy. I'll help you.'' Dean said. His grip on Sam pulled away, letting the crisp fall air in as Dean maneuvered around to slid a hand under Sam's legs. His brother may be taller than him now, but he could still be carried. When his arm was safely hooked under his legs, he slid the other behind his back, and briskly lifted Sam up into the air. Sam squeaked in surprise, but the squeak morphed into a moan of pain as the jostling messed up his shoulder, and leg. '' I know it hurts Sam. Just bear with it.'' Dean said.

'' Trying.'' Sam mumbled through gritted teeth. He let out a pained breath as Dean made his way over to the car. When he was there, Dean chose to lay Sam out on the back seat so he could keep his leg up. It took some time, and some rather painful maneuvering on Sam's part, but soon they had him set in the car.

'' Get in already Dean. I'd like to get him set before the sun comes back out.'' John told his oldest, finally turning the key in the engine to let the engine purr.

'' I know.'' Dean turned to close the door, but was pulled back by a grip on his jacket. Dean looked down at Sam, finding those lost eyes again. '' Sam?''

'' Please, don't leave.'' He mumbled, grip never letting up on his jacket.

'' Sam.'' Dean huffed, knowing that his brother must not be thinking straight yet. '' Scoot over.'' Dean shoved Sam over, just enough that he could slip in beside him. Dean pulled the door shut behind him, and let Sam lean against him .

'' You set?''

'' Just go dad.'' Dean mumbled, trying to ignore the look his father was giving him. He didn't care what his dad thought, he just cared that Sam was safe. He cared that Sam was safe, and that he wasn't scared. Sam may be afraid of clowns because of him, but he would always be there to quell those fears. He'd be right there for him, no matter what. So when ever his brother was afraid, Dean would be right there, and he'd be ready to rid those fears.

Besides, what are brothers for?


End file.
